I just got off the phone with Leilani, who is in Germany. In talking to her about something that happened, I was very moved and felt the need to put my thoughts down. I hope you find this relevant enough to show your readers.
Frank

“everything is relative”

I just received a phone call from my daughter(Leilani) from overseas(where her husband, she and the kids are stationed). She started the phone call with, “daddy, I want to tell you a story about the other day” . Leilani works at the middle school on Base in the front office. She starts to tell me that one of the mothers came in and was complaining at the school offices that her daughter (an 8th grader) was not able to open any of the 3 lockers assigned to her. The mother then went on to complain how her daughter was having a bad day, they had just moved to the base(her husband was DoD , Department of Defense contractor) and her daughter was having difficulty adjusting to the move and that the lockers not working just added to her daughters(and the moms) frustration.

As Leilani is telling me the story, being the logical dad, I asked if they had checked the lockers to see if they worked. She then told me that was not the point and then started to cry. I took that as a signal to simply shut up and listen. She proceeded to tell me that a few days earlier, another student was in the schools lobby with her dad. She and her father were smiling and laughing and taking pictures with a few school staff(including my daughter) being near by. He was telling her good bye and that he would see her shortly(he was being deployed to Afghanistan). It was obvious to my daughter that the girl was very happy that her dad was there to say good bye.

A few days later the student did not show up to school and Leilani, who was taking attendance had to find out the reason for her absence. The nurse then tells her that the father, upon just arriving into Afghanistan on his deployment was killed. My daughter was stunned, she had just seen the dad and daughter together earlier and now he was gone. The young girl had not complained or even said anything to anyone at school, she just left to go meet her fathers body. What struck Leilani as surreal was the fact that, while the one student(and mother) was having a tough time with being moved to a new place and very upset that her lockers did not open. The other student had not said one thing about having just lost her father who was with her a short time earlier.

I am sure a lot can be said about this situation, for instance how those in the military choose that life, but their children don’t, but they(the kids) still experience the consequences of that decision. My daughter was frustrated with the one mothers(and student) complaints about the locker and the move there, because she saw how the other student never said anything about the loss of her father just a few days earlier.

What I think though is that everything is relative to that person or persons at the time. The father who joined the service, never asked his child if it was okay. But that child innately understood what her father was doing and by doing his job, he and others like him and their families(who support them) then allow all of us the ability to complain about our lockers or having to move or our bad jobs( or no job).

While many of us complain about our government (including me), country or our involvement in other countries, the fact that those in the military and (by association) their families are willing to “do their job”, allows the rest of us the freedom to complain about what is important and relative to each of us. I know that most Americans have no idea of how critical our military is, other than what the press tells them. So to think that the majority of Americans can understand or empathise with the dependents(children) of those in the military is non existent. The children of those in the service, support, love and cherish their dad or mom just as we in the civilian world do ours. The difference is that our children don’t have see mom or dad go to work and wonder(in the back of our minds) if they will be home tomorrow or the next day or ever.
Thank you for your service to our Country! – Frank

here is the link to the article on Sgt. 1st Class Danial R. Adams